Biker's trail at Nan Liao, Hsinchu, Taiwan

I’ve been asking this question for some time now.

I don’t know where to begin. As kids, we have taught that “home” is where mom, dad and siblings are. True, i agree but some people (that includes me) have chosen to go out of the comfort zone, like 15,000 miles away from we call home, to experience what is life out there, and to feel the biggest irony-we miss everybody we knew, we miss everything we eat. We miss home. Yes. we miss everybody back home.

 But, which is way is home?

I don’t know too. It’s a little strange right now, and I don’t want to be responsible for trying to describe ”home” under these circumstances. I am not, at this time, a reliable witness.

I guess, the feeling of being home is not necessarily being ‘there”, physically.

Confusing it may seem, but to us women, home is to have someone they can call their ‘own”. Someone out there to share what happened in a day’s work. i guess it all goes back to the most requisite source of happiness- to be loved and to love. I have been to this kind of situation before. i was “home” for quite some time but it didn’t last that long.

Im not confounded to admit, yes, i have been into a failed relationship before. Both parties have tried hard to worked it out, but i guess there are inevitable things that we are not in command of. There are things that cannot be, no matter how hard you tried.

It’s sad that i needed to leave the solace of my “home”.

Yes, i grieved, cried, resented and bled.

I came across bumping to an old friend who insisted that i need to aver my identity- not to live in the shadow of my past and to begin to love-myself. I was told that its impossible to give love to other people if you forgot to discover yourself first. True, i caged in a relationship that was so good that i forgot how beautiful world out there is, i somehow forgot how to bond with my good friends. The ride was fast that i was seeing everything in a blur, without any pauses. It felt good. Damn love. It felt so good.

And it ended so soon. I never imagined saying goodbye in great pain. After my trips to soggy, dark, murky room lamenting on how world can be unfair, i regained composure, went out and tell the world to welcome me again. The feeling is overwhelming.

These days, i walk with beaming pride that i was once in love with a very fine man, got hurt and scarred and regained myself back. (The man happens to be a good friend of mine these days and a great fan of just about everything i do! *winks*)

And I’m home again.

I guess “home” is where you find happiness, the feeling of belongingness.

I love my job. I’m happy with it.

I love my life.

I love to love.

I love people who, in one way or another, touched my life.

Anywhere is “home”, they say. It’s up to you.

Train ride- for the first time

01.08.2009
Kuala Lumpur, 12:09 pm

I never thought this short trip will be fun.

I arrived KL close to 1am on 08 September 2008 on flip flops. Cold balmy wind embraced me just outside the airport. I was donning my green-brown jacket but it gave me shivers still. Its like welcoming me to this very foreign land. The feeling was great. I can’t explain it. Just as I expected, KL is one of the finest places I have been. It’s nothing different compared to Pinas although it’s more advanced and the weather is a little bit cold. My first peek of the famous PETRONAS Towers was fun but i was more amazed with the mall beside it. To be honest, their towers look magnificent especially during night time as the lights hit the silvery-bluish pastel color towers. It’s nice. It gives you the impression this country is something.

 Malaysia is a multi-ethnic, multi-cultural and multilingual society. The Malays, who form the largest community here, are defined as Muslims. My immersion in a very different culture/religion is pretty exciting and challenging at times. Born and raised and taught as practicing Christian, my first month experience was a mixture of happy-sad-exciting experience. Considering Pinas is an open country, living in KL “requires” you to look at the mirror few times and think thousand times on what to wear before leaving the house (you need to consider short shorts, skirts and popping cleavage. *grin*)

Food is another consideration. Pork (i happen to be a pork lover!) is as scarce as hell here. They sell these babies on a per gram basis. It’s true that whenever Pinoys abroad celebrate something, pork adobo is the most beautiful sight on the table (I’ve experienced it, believe me, it’s true!). Their ayam rendang (chicken in oh so nice lemon grass-coconut milk-chili sauce and nasi goreng kampong (fried rice with anchovies, fish paste, chili and water spinach) are to die for. totally wow.

KL celebrates 3 Christmases. The Malay’s Hari Raya, Indian’s Deepavali and our very own Western version. I never got the chance to spend Christmas at home- my first ever in 29 years. Totally different, but hey, we got pork adobo on our little noche buena.

I  know for a fact that the moment i decided to come here, it will change me forever and now, my experiences slowly unveil what’s in store for me moving forward. My new life taught me how to be more mature, how to handle my finances and how to get out of very difficult times like waking up in the morning, battle with cold weather and shower, getting lost and missing people back  home.

I love every moment I’m here and yes, I’m 4 months old today.

Seeing the sun almost touching the sea or the ground makes me remember my poignant childhood memories.The dusk in my island-hometown is unsurpassed.It’s a piece of heaven.